DeAr DiaRy

 

         This is the day I hv to go back Thailand..for my granny funeral ceremony. Yeah, dont deny it's terribly sad that u know? yesterday she was stable but she was in ICU but today she's gone forever. Who the heck can judge who will live and who will go? When that unexpected time is coming nth I can do jz try to handle and figure it out by preparing my mind and dont even get myself more depress.. If I can accept this can my granny be alive again? oi oi , it's so ridiculous..how cAN one change other lives? Yesterday at temple, i tried my best to make meditaton and pray but lots of distraction came to my mind and plus, those old- lady- pegion kept talking beside me.. I was embarrased but I tried to finish some chapters in da bible..every words I prayed jz for granny and really want her to rest in peace..Maybe it's the wayout ..she got no more pain, she is fine forever in invisible land ..  Really got no mood to study but it's me..da gal who never listen to teacher in clss.. I compete with those teachers..who is gonna be the winner of chatting competition? for the knowledge part, normally, teacher is the winner..for the shitty stuffs, of course, me...lol...

 

         I feel much more better ..thxs everybody for being nice and gave me lots of consolation...I wonder how can't I think about simple thing like that? do i need to be nun after graduation??? oi oi oi ...some uncontemplated thought always happens under my mess subconscious.. gotta go liao diary...bye2